Steam is selling stuff! I suck!
When you know you have a problem.
Steam's "Perils of Summer" sale has messed up my life. Here I was, ready to hide out and squirrel away some money for a mid-July bachelor party in Austin, Texas, when the digital download service announces that it will be slashing prices on PC games through July 4.
Some of the discounts have been ridiculous. For 24 hours Sunday and Monday, you could pick up CIVILIZATION IV and all of its expansions (including COLONIZATION) for $10. DAWN OF DISCOVERY and its expansion, VENICE, are still available for $20.09, originally priced at $30. If you like lush, rewarding, incredibly complicated city-building games set in the 15th century, I advise that you act now.
I also bought THE WITCHER: ENHANCED EDITION (read: functional version) for $6.79, marked down from $29.99. I originally got this game through Direct2Drive in late 2008 and aborted it as soon as I finished the introductory sequence, such were its technical problems. But it showed so much promise and stunning weirdness that I'm more than willing to give it another go.
And the bargain-bin items — the up-to 90 percent discounts on old or commercially disappointing titles, or ones that were cheap-ish in the first place — have helped me rack up a nearly $90 haul only four days into the sale. GHOST MASTER, ALTITUDE, EVE ONLINE: TYRANNIS ($1.99!), all of the OVERLORD games, last year's weird GHOSTBUSTERS thing, INDIGO PROPHECY, both MAX PAYNEs. They're all mine. I might never install most of these, but at $5 or less, it would have been stupid not to buy them, right?
Nod if you love me. Now.
Okay, I literally just bought KING'S BOUNTY: THE LEGEND and KING'S BOUNTY: ARMORED PRINCESS because I saw that Gameosaurus alumnus Peter Rambo bought one of them. I don't even know what they are and never heard of them until three minutes ago. They came in a pack for $10. There's a steampunk robot in one of the trailers.
I have a problem.
Here's the thing: we're talking about $90 — nay, $100 — that could have been applied to ... something else. Anything else. I love games and the fun I have playing them more than just about anything in this world. They come below my dogs and above my family on my ladder of caring.
But I have brothers in arms who are doing amazing things right now. Pat Himes, who has been one of my best friends for half of my life, is days from returning to the United States after two nearly uninterrupted years of Peace Corps service in Kyrgyzstan.
Himes outside some Kyrgyz village or another.
High school buddy Andy Keller, who studied in China in college and has been living there since, is in the final months of a yearlong bike ride around that enormous country, and, per my last conversation with him, is set to come back to the states for good sometime this fall. He and fellow insane person Evan Villarrubia have been documenting the entire trip in exquisite, crazy detail — check out a recent interview, the map of their trek, their blog and an amazing flickr stream.
And those are just the people I keep in touch with. Another high school friend posted a throwaway blurb on Facebook the other night about her moon party in a crater in New Mexico. Or something.
These are amazing, life-changing accomplishments, the sorts of things few people of my privileged suburban upbringing have tried or will try or could imagine even wanting to try. I don't envy the legion of proud retards who moved to big cities after college and continue to brag about it — they're good and fucked and probably miserable — but I'm pretty jealous of people like Andy and Pat, who will launch their careers in earnest with these wild mental touchstones locked in.
But why the achievement anxiety if I'm relatively pleased with the trajectory of my life? And why should I be jealous? I had every opportunity to do something just as wild. These guys weren't whisked away on their transcendental adventures by sheer luck or on the bankroll of some wealthy benefactor; they've taken them on because they had the gumption and the interest, and they were willing to sacrifice a lot of creature comforts along the way.
I simply can't imagine giving up my stuff for any substantial length of time. On my trip to Texas, for instance, I'll probably bring my PSP, my DS and a 700-page book I'm loving in chunks. I'll bring my laptop and its external hard drive, stuffed with episodes of JUSTIFIED and SONS OF ANARCHY and that HBO miniseries THE PACIFIC (all of which I'll buy when they become available, people). I'll have my ratty old 3G iPhone, soon to be replaced by this marvel of modern engineering, and I'll probably leave my home PC on so that I can access my music library remotely. I won't use any of it.
And if I can find room in my backpack, I'll probably stuff some clothes and a toothbrush in there or something.
I'm not embarrassed by my obsession with this stuff. Indeed, I wear it proudly, like a tattoo that's taken on new meaning after an initial shame spiral. Sure, I wish I could talk about the majesty of DEADWOOD or BATTLESTAR GALACTICA or BREAKING BAD more often than the occasional Google chat with my college roommate, who's having his own twentysomething adventures in our nation's capital (see: Facebook updates about getting drunk with Ezra Klein).
But that's the burden I carry for knowing everything about everything, right?
This feels as ridiculous to type as it surely does to read, but I can't help myself. Sometimes I think I've accumulated a vital, valuable body of pop-culture knowledge, a starting point for an assuredly brilliant future in arts and entertainment criticism. The trouble, of course, is that I'm the only one who sees it that way, and that no matter how hard I try or how credible my resumé becomes, I'm never going to break in to writing for the A.V. Club or Joystiq until I move away from here and start making connections.
And I'm not willing to do that until I put together some money and find a quiet, safe, affordable home in the outskirts of a happening place that accommodates my dogs. Executed properly, that's going to take years.
I pointlessly imagine what it's going to be like for Andy and Pat when they get back. Andy spent years in Beijing before hitting the road, and he's been to the states and back a couple times for various reasons. When Pat steps off the plane, he'll have lived in relative desolation for two years to the day, excepting a two-week vacation in York (ha!) over Christmas of last year.
How joyous for them! How lucky they'll feel to be enveloped in the suffocating embrace of instant-gratification-buy-take-break-throw-it-away culture, which I sincerely love! How ever did they manage? Surely they don't dare to be anything but happy to be home, lest they breach my impregnable fortress of feelings!
No, I don't imagine it will be like that. They'll have left a piece of them in their respective countries forever. Andy has walked among and broken bread with every type of Chinese person imaginable. Pat has spent all this time learning bits of two languages and becoming part of a hard-working agrarian family and community, only to watch ethnic violence tear the southern part of Kyrgyzstan a new asshole, right at the end of it all.
I, meanwhile, have this:
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go buy SIN AND PUNISHMENT: STAR SUCCESSOR and try to remember that I bought PUZZLE QUEST 2 on Saturday.
Gimme more to review: "Kurulin Fusion"
As stated on our most recent episode of Jurassic Radio, I downloaded this surprisingly cheap PSN title because it was being touted for musical involvement from Nobuo Uematsu. When I first downloaded it, I didn't care what the content of the game was, I just wanted to hear something different from Uematsu.
Turns out, the music was actually synth-arranged J.S. Bach music, and the individual who did the actual arrangement was Kenichiro Iwasaki. So Uematsu is listed as the "sound director" of KURULIN FUSION. What does that mean? Did he pick which Bach songs should be arranged? Did he do synth manipulation? I have absolutely no idea. And I don't really care; this game shouldn't be sold on the laurels of its soundtrack. It's good music, but it turns out my misguided purchasing habits allowed me to stumble into a decent puzzle game.
This is a "pieces drop from the top, make awesome formations" kind of puzzle game, akin to TETRIS or DR. MARIO. I specifically mention Dr. Mario because every piece you're given is a rectangular block with a split down the middle (essentially, two squares). Now, in Dr. Mario, the goal was to throw colored pills at viruses, which already existed in the field of play, and match up virus and pill color to defeat the viruses. Extending the Dr. Mario analogy, the two types of "things" that can be on either side of a piece are orbs and blocks. Orbs are like the viruses, and blocks are like the pills. Except, in Kurulin Fusion, all it takes is one pill to kill as many viruses as are adjacent to it, or to another virus that is adjacent to the pill (i.e. -- possibility for massive chains).
Let's drop the Dr. Mario analogy, because the similarities end here. The orbs and blocks come, sometimes in the same piece, but sometimes orbs are paired, or blocks are paired. Statistically, you are given more orbs than blocks. Different modes of play determine how many colors appear, but the max is four: red, blue, green, yellow. Every possible combination of piece imaginable will be given to you, except for one: putting an orb and a block of the same color in one piece is never done. You can get two orbs of the same color, or two blocks, but never the two types thrown together when they're the same color.
The rules of the game are simple. You're dropping pieces in a contained space, and clearing orbs by sucking them into blocks earns you points. If your pieces spill out over the top of the field, it's game over. Also, after a certain number of pieces drop, a row of randomized orbs and blocks will appear at the bottom and push everything up one row. In arcade mode, every 15 levels goes in a speed cycle: start slow, then speed up, til at level 15 (or 30, or 45), you've reached "pieces drop instantly" speed. After clearing this, at the next level, the pieces drop slowly again. However, the rate at which new rows of random crap appear at the bottom continues to accelerate with each level.
The game looks like this: a 9x12 grid and lots of color.
Keys to becoming an expert player essentially involve playing big risk/reward games. You see, the "block" pieces can be fused. Put two blocks of the same color next to each other, and they become one rectangle. You can have blocks that take up one, two, four, six, and nine squares total. The larger the block, the more points you get. And the massive nine-block will destroy all orbs of the same color, regardless of positioning. Also, setting up chains (block sucks up orb, pieces above drop, more block/orb destruction continues) is a way to earn big points.
My favorite form of the game is the mission mode. There are 30 stages in mission mode, and each one has a different objective. Sometimes it's as simple as "don't lose in a given amount of time." Other times it's "destroy so many orbs," or "build a fusion block of a particular size," or a variety of other objectives. And each of them comes with a time limit. The challenges get harder and harder, and they are tons of fun. Unfortunately, a skilled player (such as myself) can clear all 30 challenges in an afternoon. After that, there really isn't much left to do with the game. Except play multiplayer, which doesn't have random match setups... you need to have friends also playing the game. What a shame!
For its price, it's a great game. I just want more objective-based challenges. And hey, maybe add a fifth color that corresponds with a larger field of play? There's plenty of room to expand, and I'd be fine paying more money for it.
Played: 4 hours, no multiplayer
Platform(s): PSP (PSN)
Price: $4.99
The first hour: "S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Call of Pripyat"
S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: CALL OF PRIPYAT, the most recent entry in the Stalker franchise was released last Friday, but only on Amazon. The earliest delivery date would have been Wednesday, but the end-times snow storm made that date less likely.
So in my despondency, I put off the purchase. I'm glad I did. Call of Pripyat came out on Steam a week after the official release date, and it's a bargain. The collector's edition is all that's available through Amazon, and it's already priced pretty low at $40. But Steam has it at $30, and they're running a loyalty promotion that drops the price to $20 if you have either of the two previous games, Shadow of Chernobyl or Clear Skies, in your Steam games list. I think that's a promotion that developers or distributors should run more often.
Call of Pripyat is far more stable than either previous game was at launch. It hasn't crashed on me yet. It's not the prettiest game, and it still has some odd bugs, but I'm glad to return to the irradiated Russian back-country. So let me take you on a tour through the first hour of the game.
Warning, there are a lot of images after the jump.
This Black Friday, I'm Thankful for Free Indie Games
While everyone else is out there dropping mad dollars on mega deals, and because there's little interesting coming out till after the holidays, I've been checking my indie sources for stuff that's worth playing. Here are two that stole some of my weekday hours this week.
WE WANT YOU
We Want You is a procedurally generated platformer, which means the levels are generated as you go along. Or fall along, in this case. You play an unnamed soldier who's dropped in a war zone. Your goal is to survive. As you fall towards your ultimate destination, a friendly base, time passes. The longer the war lasts, the more dangerous the enemies strewn across the landscape become. At the start they just sit there waiting for you to pass through their crosshairs, but after the first year they start coming after you.
Not looking too healthy.
As you play, headlines from back home appear on the screen, letting you know which generals are involved in scandals and how many men you've killed so far. The game isn't quite as polished as Spelunky, another procedurally generated game, but it's controls are a little more forgiving. You have unlimited mines, which are used to destroy terrain. You can pick up armor and a lot of weapons, though you'll still spend most of the game bleeding on your pistol.
LEVEL UP
Another 2D platformer for the list. Level Up is inspired by UPGRADE COMPLETE, a vertical shooter where everything, from the weapons to the title screen, have to be bought with points earned in the game. Level Up applies that idea to a lesser degree. The main character's attributes, jumping, running, healing, all improve through use.
Yay! Now I heal better.
At times the game feels like simplified Metroidvania. Large parts of the map are only unlocked after you max out your jump skill, and you can learn a double jump from one of the two tribes populate the world, elephant people and square people. Each group sells upgrades for your main attributes. The square people sell the attributes for full price, while the elephant people sell them for cheap if you can pass a test. But I only completed one quest for the elephant people because gems aren't hard to come by and the challenges were pretty tough.
NEWS
Gaming Day at libraries was a big success, though I guess it's not surprising that games are a good way to get boys in the library. In other library news, Sony donated a thousand PS3s and copies of LittleBigPlanet for Game Changers to libraries and community organizations so kids can make content that uses science, engineering and math skills. Game Changers is a competition that's part of Obama's Digital Learning Initiative.
Square Enix thinks the network is the future of home gaming, though, the guy with the download-only system says otherwise.
Nintendo is really popular with the ladies.
And finally, cactuar!
Cheap games, you should buy them
If there's one thing you can count on us to do, it's to point out where all the free and cheap shit is.
Case in point: Digital games merchant Direct2Drive is turning five years old, and it's celebrating by slashing more than 50 relatively recent games to $5 each.
We're a little late to the party here -- the deals began earlier this month and have closed in waves, with each week offering a new pile of thematically linked games. This week, for example, you can pick up WORLD OF GOO, DEFENSE GRID: THE AWAKENING and other indie titles for a cool $5 apiece.
That deal closes next Monday, when the site's unannounced package of "war games" goes to $5.
In other words, you have through Sunday to buy World of Goo on your PC if you haven't yet. That's six days. If you haven't yet, BUY THAT GAME.
And there's a pile of other games underneath the indie titles that will remain at $5 throughout the entire promotion, including BIOSHOCK, CIVILIZATION 4, CHRONICLES OF RIDDICK: ASSAULT ON DARK ATHENA, SAINTS ROW 2 and a bunch of other really solid titles.
Don't say we never did anything for yas.
