Movie Review: "Virtuality"
Jul 29
(editor’s note: Nathan is wrong about almost everything he says in the next 700 words. Also, this comment is meant in jest! I just aggressively disagree with him.)
*Spoiler Alert*
(Actually, I’m just saving you time.)
I started Virtuality expecting that a thriller with a space-exploration subplot that would have a somewhat resolved ending. But wait!
Virtuality is more about petty drama between characters than solving the dilemma with their virtual world and their mission. While traveling to another star system to save mankind— Alpha Centauri, I believe — the crew can’t think of anything better to do than bicker amongst each other, some doing so just to boost ratings for their reality show.
The reality show about their expedition is backed by FOX, so I guess this adds to the realism of the film. I can imagine easily a future when, facing environmental catastrophe, humanity at large will continue to sit on their couches and let the stupefying glow of reality television wash over their doughy bodies.
The antagonist — known as “Virtual Man” — shows his intimidating face about four or five times throughout the movie. He kills crew members in the virtual world, but unlike the Matrix, the characters survive their imagined deaths. An exception to the killing arises when “Virtual Man” decides to rape crew member Billie Kashmiri because of her shitty Japanese rock performance.
Though this is merely virtual rape — a daily and casually observed slight in games like HALO — Billie feels that it is too real. For me, this was where Virtuality hit rock-bottom. It evolves into a Lifetime special as shipmate Parsons comforts Billie by telling her something along the lines of, “All men will hurt you, even virtual ones.”
Finally, the commander is killed by a glitch in the computer system that opens an airlock, allowing him to test his lungs in space. I was left to wonder if the commander was killed by “Virtual Man” or a rogue crew member, but we’ll never know because the movie is a pilot for a show too shitty to be picked up by any network.
Commander Pike unsuccessfully tests the new plush-model space suit.
For all my bitching, the concept was interesting. Had the same plot and setting been fused with better acting and an ending with some closure, it would have seen better ratings, although lack of strong (read: absolutely no) promotion and the fact that the pilot aired in June (on a Friday) didn’t help.
Virtuality also believably showcased some near-future technology. Without light-speed travel, the ship voyaged to the distant galaxy via an orbital slingshot and nuclear pulse propulsion. The spacesuits, although betraying the fact that costume designers were on a meager budget, closely resembled the Biosuit.
Some people may disagree, but I feel that Virtuality didn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell regardless of its air date. If the show is picked up by a network, I will play and review a shitty game. At least CHOCOBO RACING is out of the question since Benji lost the Final Fantasy quiz in podcast 11.
For all my bitching and cynicism, I will point out a few positive aspects of the film. The concept was interesting. Had the same plot and setting been fused with better acting and a conclusion with some closure, it would have gotten better ratings, although lack of strong promotion and the fact that the pilot aired in June didn’t help.
Another strong point of Virtuality was its accuracy in portraying technology of the near future. Without light-speed travel, the ship voyaged to the distant galaxy via an orbital slingshot and nuclear pulse propulsion. The space suits, although betraying the fact that costume designers were on a meager budget, closely resembled the Biosuit ()
Some people may disagree, but I feel that Virtuality didn’t have a snowball’s chance in hell regardless of its air date. If the show is picked up by a network, I will play and review a shitty game. At least Chocobo Racing is out of the question since Benji lost the Final Fantasy quiz in podcast 11 ().
